One feature of my online events that many attendees remark on: we try to care for one another and we aim to keep things positive, supportive, and welcoming.

In order to keep such a culture thriving, I have to enforce a few rules, and while they may seem unnecessary, several past attendees encouraged me to write them down here, as a formal code of conduct.

The Four Rules

1. You choose who gets your email address

In some online events, as soon as you register, every speaker gets access to your email address. That is absolutely not what happens here. You decide who gets to email you. In fact, I don't even have a Facebook tracking pixel set up.

By signing up for the get-together, you agree only to receive email from me, the host. While you will have opportunities to exchange contact info, visit each other's sites, and sign up for each other's newsletter and offers -- and I encourage you to do so, because these are great people -- your personal information is yours to share -- or to not.

2. Be polite to the speakers

The second rule is: you agree not to be rude to the speakers.

You are, of course, allowed to dislike or disagree with their talk! In every event, you will probably find one presentation that doesn't work for you. But it is not acceptable to insult speakers, question their credentials, demand that they answer your question, or post derogatory remarks in the chat.

People who seem to be doing this absent-mindedly will be reminded of the "first rule." People who seem to be doing it maliciously will be removed from the event.

Complaints about the speaker's looks, vocal mannerisms, accent etc are definitely included in this rule.

Of course, this is not to say you need to be a silent participant in the session. Feel free to speak up, share your thoughts, and if there a tech problem you've noticed, mention it!

On a related note (rule 1.1, perhaps): we should try to keep conversations in the chat relatively on track and relevant to the speaker's talk. Making quips and side references is great; getting into an argument with other attendees about a minor factual detail or your own pet theory is not okay.

Similarly, sharing links to your own writing, blog etc is not allowed until a presenter is finished speaking.

3. Respect One Another

The third rule covers both attendees and speakers (and me, the host):

As participants at this event:

- we agree not to gatekeep or make pronouncements about who gets to be a teacher or coach or editor. Clearly, certain forms of training can make us better teachers, but that is a different idea to saying you must have this certificate or that work history. If you have a qualification that you believe makes you especially qualified to teach, great! That's fantastic. But we agree not to deploy our own credentials as a hierarchy.

- we agree not to make hurtful or discriminatory statements about people based on their race, gender, sexuality, age, ability / disability, or class.

(We also agree that it's much easier to get this wrong than we like to think, and we all mess up from time to time, so we will stay open to hearing criticism, advice, and feedback if we crossed a line without realising, and commit to apologising and working to do better going forwards.)

- we also agree not to post chat comments or share stories that contains slurs or gross stereotypes.

(You may well feel your intentions are good, but in a busy event like this, chat posts fly by in a split-second, and if your post doesn't pass the "this will concern Daniel and other attendees for more than a split-second," please edit before you post.)

4. I promise to listen to you

The fourth rule is about me, Daniel, the host:

I agree to listen to your concerns and to take action if something is bothering you.

If I do something that concerns you, or a speaker does, feel free to reach out, either immediately or at any point in the future. There is no deadline here.